Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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