8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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