i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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