Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
