i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
