remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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