My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
