You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
