Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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