she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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