At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
