1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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