maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i believe in u and ur pee
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
