Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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