I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
