I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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