but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
