dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
