at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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