she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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