it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dignity is for republicans.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
