Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
