i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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