lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
