I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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