There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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