Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
