I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize