I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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