dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
