Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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