somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
