And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
