I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
God I need to hump something, right now.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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