it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
