my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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