no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
