That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
