i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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