And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize