Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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