they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
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