Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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