I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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