Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
