Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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