I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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