So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
