She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
