i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
