i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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