Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
