Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
