why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize