Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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