sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize