I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This toilet bowl is my home.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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